#ship: Insubordination
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nananarc · 1 month ago
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The Branding . 2024
Commission for @TheEvilScribbler
________ Timelapse open for Patreon paid member on Ferbuary 2nd 2025 (https://www.patreon.com/nananarc) Commission me here via this link nananarc.art/Commission
Inspired by the artwork Bitten by Eileen Kai Hing Kwan under the cut.
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garfunkytunes · 2 months ago
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dude you cannot bring rarepairs or literally any ship to tiktok or pinterest or ANYWHERE outside of tumblr because someone in the comments is always gonna be like “but they’re not canon!!!!” or “but they’ve never even met before!!!!”
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koa-z · 8 months ago
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I ended up fully rendering this warmup piece, because since I'm working on a standalone piece of Sukuna it was actually really useful to be able to experiment with rendering him in a smaller capacity before diving into my main piece
ft daiya bc re: I'm working on his artfight ref
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honorhearted · 1 year ago
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How pure are you?
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Tagged by: yoinked it Tagging: yoink it from me! <3
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scribedhorror · 2 years ago
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calling it a night bc i'm tired and also work early but pls consider this a SHIPPING call
~like this post if you'd like to ship with one william thomas denbrough~
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hazellvsq · 1 year ago
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writing hazel/reyna is SO FUN like hazel thinks reyna’s a smug bitch and reyna thinks hazel’s weird as all fuck and then they [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]. and yes the armor stays on.
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eightmakesonebraincell · 1 year ago
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ateez as pirates who fall for you (hyung line)
read maknae line here
genre: pirate!ateez x gn!reader (fem!reader for hongjoong), fluff, angst, crack, and as always - a brainrot of every pirate trope to exist
length: 10.4k
c/w: heavy and mature themes - mdni, explicit language (swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, illegal acts (piracy, ransoming, verbal abuse, abduction), alcohol, pet names
a/n: maknae line will come yes but who knows when 🤷‍♀️ work has been really testing my dopamine vibes this year 😔👎 thank you @sorryimananti-romantic for keeping a detailed hitlist for me ♡
hongjoong
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pov: you're a royal princess rescued by him
“captain, are you sure we can’t toss her overboard?”
jongho and hongjoong watch as wooyoung’s face falls after you pointedly ignore his attempts to make conversation once again
for someone who is technically their guest aboard the arriba, it seems as though you are hellbent on being as difficult as you can be
“unfortunately, we can’t,” hongjoong grouches to the younger, “not unless we want to exchange our payment for a hefty bounty on our own heads”
when jongho sighs, the captain squeezes his shoulder in comfort and adds on, “trust me, i’ve thought about it too”
hongjoong and his crew are privateers - pirates in theory, but technically excused so long as they have their letter of marque to state that they are authorised to attack other vessels
rescuing a royal princess was never explicitly part of the contract, although he thinks that not rescuing you would have pretty much been equivalent to a blatant show of insubordination
you had been taken ransom by one of the merchant ships the arriba had been plundering
needless to say, they had been close to tossing you overboard too; your kingdom had never paid for your ransom
the lack of response from your parents wasn’t anything you weren’t expecting but it’s a sore spot nonetheless
so it’s certainly hard for you to play friendly when you’re quite literally shucked off from stranger to stranger faster than a hot potato
san tugs wooyoung closer towards him and gently says to you, “he’s just trying to be nice - we all are”
the movement doesn’t go unnoticed by you
“i don’t need your pity,” you answer, the only sentence you have spoken today
you’ve lived two decades of your life pretending you don’t see the pitying gazes of your maids and butlers
you certainly don’t need pity from these people - pirates no less
“it’s not-” wooyoung starts to say
but the captain steps in before he can defend himself
“if this is how you’re always acting, i’m starting to see why your kingdom never paid for your ransom”
had hongjoong been less preoccupied by your words, he would have realised that your tone is candid, as if it is only natural for the people around you to pity you
but he’s clouded with his mindset as captain, unable to stand by idly while his own crew put up with your attitude, and so the words come out anyway - shards of shrapnel that bury themselves into your heart
there is only a fleeting second when your eyes dilate with hurt
you conceal it immediately, replacing it with a steely gaze, yet the image has already seared itself into hongjoong’s mind
“maybe you should throw me overboard, then,” you counter, “i’m sure my family will thank you for it”
and even if you have completely neutralised your expression, no one misses the wounded tone of your voice before you disappear down into the lower deck
mingi lets out a low whistle after the resounding slam of the hatch closing
“you fucked up, captain”
hongjoong doesn’t need anyone to spell it out for him
the heavy feeling in his stomach is telling enough
it isn’t until the moon has long since risen that you emerge through the hatch again
you had bypassed the sleeping quarters to the hold, wedging yourself between barrels of grain until you were sure no one would find you
not that they would have tried to anyway - seonghwa had told them all to give you some space
you had run your finger up and down the sides of the barrels repetitively for hours on end, mind simultaneously void and filled with thoughts
the walls you had built around yourself kept you safe, but it had started to become awfully lonely after a while
when it had become a little too suffocating in the hold and you guessed that most of the crew was asleep, you had softly padded back up the stairs and across the main deck
you now sit on the foredeck where the endless expanse of the sea stretches out in front of you, closing your eyes and letting the swaying of the ship lull you into tranquillity
tonight, the moon winks down fondly upon the waters
hongjoong watches you from the quarterdeck
he’s seen you sit at the front of the ship on many nights when you should really have been asleep
he wonders if you’ve always looked so small and fragile with your knees drawn up to your chest, or whether it’s because the flash of hurt in your eyes and voice is still fresh in his mind
“go, captain,” yunho murmurs from where he’s at the helm, “it’s a quiet night”
hongjoong startles at having been caught gazing, clearing his throat and dragging his eyes away
“why should i, if she’s just going to ignore me?” he scoffs
but he knows he’s just being petty at this point and his chest churns in agreement
“maybe,” yunho hums softly in response. “did seonghwa ever give up on you, though?”
it’s rhetorical - hongjoong knows the answer better than anyone
the captain doesn’t say anything but after several beats of silence, he sighs and makes a move to the foredeck where you are
yunho smiles to himself
you and hongjoong may be more similar than his captain realises
your shoulders stiffen when the sound of hongjoong’s footsteps approaches
you’re not sure what to expect and you don’t exactly want to find out and risk getting hurt
but having spent all day swimming alone in your thoughts, you do want to show that you feel apologetic because admittedly, you were being an ass too
getting up to walk away when he’s taken the first step certainly won’t help your case
you hold your breath in awkward silence as he settles down beside you, leaving a respectable distance between your hunched figures
only now is hongjoong realising that he hasn’t actually thought about or decided on what he wants to say to you
but he can feel the confusion rolling off of you in waves, so he grits his teeth and says fuck it
“i won’t apologise for defending my crew, but i’m sorry for how i did it and for what i said”
he hopes you know he is sincere when he continues, “we all have our prickly edges. i can’t fault you for yours”
compassion is a foreign concept to you and so you’re a little stumped for words
hongjoong isn’t sure whether your silence is a good or bad thing, but you have yet to stand up and walk away from the conversation
“there’s only about a week left until we reach port and we’ll leave after you make it back to your kingdom and we receive our payment. i’m not asking for you to be friendly, but let’s at least be civil with each other until then,” he says
you want to nod, agree, anything
and yet you can’t seem to make your head move or the words to come out of your mouth
rome was not built in a day. but neither did its walls fall in a day
hongjoong doesn’t push for an answer when instead, you ask, “how many people have you actually tossed overboard before?”
he resists the urge to laugh at your question, suddenly endeared by the fact that you’re still bothered by his very empty threat
“none, but my offer still stands. you’re welcome to be my first,” he deadpans
you let out a snort and although you quickly turn your head away, hongjoong sees the hint of amusement in your eyes
no further words are exchanged between the two of you and you do not acknowledge him when he eventually stands to rejoin yunho at the helm
but it’s a start
and as with any relationship, be it friend, foe, or lover, there is always that
a beginning.
hongjoong isn’t really expecting much to change immediately so he doesn’t pay you much mind when you walk into the mess hall the following morning
you hesitate at the entrance when you see most of the crew are already present, the conversation you had with hongjoong last night replaying at the forefront of your mind
you chew on the inside of your mouth
wooyoung stops mid-conversation at the scrape of a plate on the table, looking up to find you sliding into the seat beside him with a tight-lipped smile
to your surprise, he greets you with enthusiasm and immediately drags you into the conversation
hongjoong watches as you slowly warm up and add one or two comments of your own in between bites of your hardtack
and when he catches your gaze after staring for too long, he gives you a smile to convey his appreciation; to acknowledge your efforts
you return it with a small smile of your own and unbeknownst to you, it stays on your face for the rest of the day
slowly, there become more and more reasons that elicit a smile out of you
you still sit out on the foredeck when everyone else has gone to sleep, but on most nights, hongjoong will join you even if just for a while
the two of you are content to sit side by side with nothing but the steady pulse of the ocean and intermittent creaks of the ship’s hull to break the silence of the night
tonight though, you find curiosity burning through you
“what’s it like?” you ask
“being a pirate?” he clarifies
you shrug vaguely, unsure yourself either, “being a pirate. being at sea. sailing with your crew”
he takes a moment to gather his thoughts - not because he doesn’t know what to say, but because there is too much he wants to say
when hongjoong answers, his voice rumbles softly from within his chest, tender and heartfelt
“there’s a sense of freedom that you can’t obtain when you’re bound to land and society. sailing the waters, the only limits are those of the open seas and of your own compass… the sunrises, the storms, the moonlight - it all becomes part of your home”
hongjoong leans back to rest on the palms of his hands, tilting his gaze up towards the twinkling sky
he reflects, “you experience brotherhood and gain a family that is worth multitudes more than the treasures you can accumulate, even if you were to live as a pirate for several lifetimes”
you’re enraptured by his words, like poetry that swirls off the pages of a book and drifts into your very soul
“i may be the captain of this crew, but they make me who i am. without them, i am nothing”
his words wash over you and unearth vivid memories
“that’s what the queen always says to me,” you reveal
a small smile starts to grace hongjoong’s face, but it falls just as quickly when he hears your next words
“that without her - without her title - i am nothing”
it’s funny, how the same phrase can hold such different meanings; can evoke such different emotions
you don’t elaborate any further, but hongjoong doesn’t think he needs you to in order for him to understand
he just wishes he had more time to show you that your mother is wrong
he can’t though
tomorrow they reach port and you will return to your rightful place in the palace
“tell me more about your crew,” you attempt to change the topic, “how did you all find each other?”
so hongjoong tells you
he talks for hours and hours and you listen all the while with a heavy heart, clinging onto his every word
on your final night, you two stay like that until the stars disappear and the horizon becomes streaked with the pale hues of sunrise
after the ship docks mere hours later, only hongjoong accompanies you to your kingdom after goodbyes are exchanged
wooyoung doesn’t take it well, and you find yourself holding back tears of your own as you are let through the palace doors with the captain by your side
but you blink them away when you approach the throne room because vulnerability is not an emotion you are willing to display
“y/n”
the queen addresses you curtly when you enter, and hongjoong wonders for a split second whether he has brought you back to the wrong kingdom
he knows your mother does not treat you fondly, but it’s still staggering to see it before his very own eyes
the monarch glances distastefully over him before her eyes flicker back to you
“i did not expect your return,” she states
your eyes remain impassive as you merely answer, “neither am i delighted to be back”
hongjoong recognises this look
he’s seen it when you first boarded his ship; he’s seen it when your hackles were raised
he’s seen it in himself, when he had been a teenager filled with nothing but growing resentment, before he had met seonghwa
your mother sneers, “then you should have made yourself useful and stayed with the pirates. as a whore or a dog, whatever it took.”
hongjoong has understood you since learning of your demons, but right now, he is you
he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, standing before a couple who are his parents only by title
he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, who doesn’t know what he has done that deems him undeserving of love
he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, all alone with no one to take his hand
“or really, you should have died on the ship”
hongjoong is close enough to you to hear the small hitch in your breath at your mother’s final jab
he may not have had someone to save his younger self, but he can do that now
he can be the person he so desperately needed years ago
and so he does just that.
hongjoong grabs your hand and drags you out of the palace
no one stops the two of you from leaving and he is unsure whether his heart hurts for you or sings with relief
you can only stutter in shock as you try to keep up, “hongjoong, what about your payment?”
his determined steps do not slow down, even as he looks back at you with a sure smile, “i told you before. some things are worth more than money”
the comforting squeeze of his hand conveys that you are worth more than any amount of money
the form of the arriba grows bigger in the distance and you think you can see the movement of excitement on deck when the crew spots your figures
hongjoong has slowed down his steps, but he has yet to let go of your hand
“and you deserve to know that. welcome to the crew, y/n”
to a family and love that you never had
you think you like the sound of that
“thank you, captain”
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seonghwa
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pov: you're a royal navy officer in disguise
you lay awake in your hammock, listening to the soft snores of the crew members around you
sleep doesn’t come easy to you anymore
particularly tonight
you contemplate whether it’s worth the risk to simply not show up
you know what the consequences are if they capture you - a slow and painful death - but you’re unsure whether you want to put ateez on the line too
your ship is currently docked for the night, having made a port stop at alcarres following one of the crew’s wishes to retire the pirate lifestyle and settle in the small town
their last night with ateez had been celebrated with sloshing rum and rowdy jigs, something you had found strange
there’s none of that in the royal navy
when one leaves, it is shameful and through one of three options only; old age, crippling injury, or…death
you had asked seonghwa, the quartermaster, why he and the captain were so accepting when crew members left as they wished
he had simply smiled and answered, “better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew”
his words are like a sharp stone in your shoe as you finally slip out of your hammock and make your way off the ship
as ordered, you head to the tavern addressed
you salute the person in front of you and ease into your seat with a formality only when he disregards you
“admiral jang”
“you’re late,” the royal navy officer raises an eyebrow
“sorry, sir. i had to make sure everyone was asleep”
it’s not exactly the truth, but no one needs to know that you had spent an hour in your hammock questioning your morality
he ignores your excuse, jesting as he asks of your captain, “has the pirate king found the chart’s whereabouts yet?”
the charts
centuries ago, a crew of experienced sailors had travelled the six great seas and created the original navigational charts
the charts had become scattered and lost over time, but its value only increased exponentially as more and more sailors became victims to the sea trying to map its waters to the same detail and accuracy as the original charts
of the six originals, only the whereabouts of five are known, with most of them within the possession of the royal navy
it’s rumoured that hongjoong - the pirate king - has his hands on two of them and is currently tracking down the lost chart of the aurorian sea
the only sea that has yet to be chartered after its original map due to its dangerous and unpredictable sailing conditions
you know that your next words can hold an inexplicable amount of possibilities
“not yet. the last lead didn’t get him anywhere. turned out the last of the ahn clan had passed a decade ago”
his lips flatten at the lack of worthwhile information
“where’s the captain headed to next, then?” he probes
for a split second, the thought of lying crosses your mind
you can’t provide a different location - it would be much too obvious and would raise immediate suspicions
but you could give him a different time frame
after all, it’s not uncommon for navigational routes to be one to two weeks off should the waters be unpredictable enough
you find the truth spilling out of you anyway once you’re looking into his stone-cold eyes
“vlasgar. in about three weeks’ time”
for a moment, time stands still as your heart pounds and you attempt to slow your breathing, the officer staring back at you calculatingly
then he finally hums in satisfaction
you think that he is going to dismiss you, but as you make a move to leave, he leans back in his seat
the split second of hesitation was enough
“remember where your loyalty lies, y/n”
the air feels cold with the underlying threat
seonghwa’s words flit through your mind
better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew
you swallow, “of course, admiral”
and then you’re dismissed with a nod
the unsettling feeling follows you all the way back to the ship and every miniscule creak of the floorboards underneath you seems to be amplified in the silence
you let out a short gasp of surprise when you’re about to climb back into your hammock, only to see seonghwa blinking blearily at you
“couldn’t sleep ‘gain?” he mumbles
you choke out a response, “yeah”
“i’ll make you tea b’fore you sleep ‘morrow,” his words slur with sleepiness
“okay,” you whisper
but you know it won’t make a difference
after all, there’s no remedy for guilt
it continues to fester the next day, as you linger outside the captain’s quarters
you can’t remember why you had come down to the lower deck, but it doesn’t matter now, not with seonghwa and the captain discussing what you think is related to the aurorian chart
“do you think he’s still in vlasgar?”
“min taesoo? it’s hard to say. but i’m sure he’ll have acquaintances still on the island who may have an idea of where he’s gone”
min taesoo
your brain tries to carefully file the name away, knowing that it’s what admiral jang would want to know, but at the same time, your heart tries to pretend it doesn’t know what you have heard so that you can forget about it
you find yourself scratching the name onto a scrap of paper anyway
unbeknownst to you, at the almost-imperceivable sound of your footsteps walking away, the two men behind the doors share a look
the crew sets sail again in the afternoon towards the next destination - vlasgar - and the scrap of paper in your pocket weighs you down so heavily that you feel off-kilter as you absentmindedly follow jongho up into the rigging to unfurl the sails
you’re near the top of the ropes when a sudden wave lurches the boat to starboard
it’s only a small push, really, but with your mind elsewhere, it catches you off guard and you miss your next step
the feeling of your hand dislodging from the sudden drag of your body weight brings you back to the present with a yell of surprise
(whether it’s your own or jongho’s, you can’t remember)
your sailing experience takes over and you try to swing your body back towards the safety of the rigging
you barely manage to grasp the ropes again but your hands slip down with your weight until they hit the next knot, the hot rush of friction threatening your grip
with adrenaline rushing through your body, you shakily climb back down, where there are several pairs of hands waiting to help you down the rest of the rigging
seonghwa’s hands do not leave you even after your feet are planted on the deck again
dread and shame heat the back of your neck and curl around onto your cheeks, knowing that a mistake like the one you had just made - accidental or not - would lead to a punishment like confinement in the lower deck back in the royal navy
except, when an apology starts to form on your lips, seonghwa bursts out in dismay
“y/n, your hands!”
you let out an unintelligible noise as seonghwa gently turns your palms over and you realise that the ropes have grazed some of the skin off
“it’s fine,” you want to say
but you’re silenced when he leads you to the small sick bay on the orlop deck
even if there is no surgeon on board, there is a small chest fastened to the wall that is home to their few and valuable medical supplies
you sit as he fusses over you with alcohol and strips of cloth
although he does a good job of wrapping your hands, your insides start to bleed with how intensely guilt eats away at you, like a maggot deep inside the core of a festering apple
that night as you shuffle towards your hammock to sleep, you flinch when you find seonghwa already sitting in his
he’s fighting the heaviness in his eyes as he carefully cradles something
upon seeing you, he wordlessly hands it to you with a sleepy smile before he finally sags into his own hammock with a content sigh
you look down and the warmth of it seems to burn through the padded dressing that the man before you has tenderly wrapped around your palms
the sensation travels upwards to burn your heart too
because in your hands is a cup of warm chamomile tea
and yet, despite the emptied cup, you find yourself unable to fall asleep
but in the darkness of the sky, with no witnesses other than the waves and sea foam themselves, a small piece of crumpled paper gets tossed overboard that night
the closer their ship approaches vlasgar, the more distant seonghwa notices you become
he worries
seonghwa thinks he worries for the reasons that he should be
he is the quartermaster; entrusted to protect the crew as the captain’s right-hand man
if that means ensuring no one will compromise the rest of his crew, even if it’s you, then so be it
that’s what he justifies to himself as he walks through the cobbled streets of vlasgar, slinking through the shadows as he follows your figure from a safe distance
(in reality, seonghwa worries for the reasons that he is not quite ready to admit yet)
he follows you into the dim bar of a tavern and carefully situates himself where he can watch over you without being discovered
he orders a mug of common ale as you approach someone
the man is dressed in civilian attire, but seonghwa can tell straight away from his demeanour and expression that he is not as ordinary as he appears
it’s confirmed when he hears you say, “admiral jang”
and then he sees it
the small but striking lapel pin on the breast of the man’s coat - the royal navy’s insignia
seonghwa feels for the sash that’s hidden underneath his own jacket and his fingertips meet the cool metal of the pistol tied inside
“you better have updates for me, y/n. what’s the pirate king’s purpose here in vlasgar?”
seonghwa knows he only has about five seconds to make a decision - one that could jeopardise the crew, or one that could jeopardise you
but you surprise yourself and the both of them when you answer steadfastly, “i don’t know, sir”
despite the din of drunker patrons in the tavern, it seems to fall deathly silent
“am i hearing wrong, officer?” the admiral questions with a disbelieving scoff
to your credit, your voice does not waver when you state again, “no, sir. i believe the captain and quartermaster are lying low. they have not revealed anything to me nor the rest of the crew”
seonghwa suddenly understands why you have distanced yourself
the admiral’s jaw tics
“is that so.”
you do not respond, only focusing on the spot between his raised eyebrows as he leans forward across the table
“where does your loyalty lie, y/n?”
neither the admiral nor seonghwa need to hear your answer to know the truth
a small crew may be outnumbered, but they have strength in loyalty and devotion
there’s a glint of movement from underneath the table as the admiral inches something out from his belt
seonghwa makes his decision
you flinch, eyes wide as there’s a deafening gunshot and the table beside you splinters and scatters the tankards of alcohol onto the floor
instantaneously, chaos erupts
there are drunken yells of fright and weapons clumsily brandished, tables upturned and chairs hurled across the room
it only takes one other misfired shot for the tavern to descend into hellfire as customers who were previously drinking together now turn on one another
nobody notices the two pirates dashing out, not even admiral jang, who is busy wrangling two inebriated men off his arms
your composure dissolves the moment you are dragged into an alleyway several streets away and you look up in shock to discover-
“seonghwa?! why are you here?”
“i could say the same about you,” he counters, hardly out of breath
you’re stunned by the fact that he seems completely unfazed by the mess that he has just dragged you out of
something clicks
“was that you? did you know all along?”
seonghwa smiles, “let’s just say you’re not as subtle as you think you are when you sneak around. plus, it’s uncommon for sailors to have the experience that you do without having had some sort of training”
you curse under your breath and wince, “does hongjoong know too?”
the quartermaster nods and you fear the answer to your next question
“then why has he not…why have you not…”
“killed you yet?” seonghwa chuckles. “i’m sure you’ve realised by now how skewed the royal navy’s beliefs are”
you’re quiet
the royal navy has always been cult-like in preaching the ruthlessness and barbarism of pirates, drilling into the officers the belief that pirates are the scum of the sea
but everything that you’ve known has been proven false since you’ve joined ateez; ironically, the pirates are more humane than the royal navy themself
their crew stand at attention whenever hongjoong or seonghwa walk onto the deck - not out of cultivated fear but genuine respect
when jongho is sore and tired from handling the riggings on a particularly rough and windy day, the others will offer to cover for his chores instead of flogging him into submission
and when mingi is divvying up the shares of the provisions and loot, the others will slip an extra bar of soap for seonghwa, the shiniest ring for mingi, or the largest bottle of rum for yunho, because they want to make each other happy
“hongjoong is the pirate king, yes, but a king should not take the lives of others for his own power. a true king uses his power to change the lives of others for the better…like yours…and like mine”
you frown with a jerk of your head
“what do you mean?”
you can’t see seonghwa as a broken man whatsoever
he gives you a weak smile, “i, too, used to be part of the royal navy”
your jaw drops
everything clicks into place - how he had figured out you weren’t just a common sailor and why he hadn’t confronted you about it
the shame and guilt come rushing back over you in a storm that is much too familiar by now
“i’m so sorry, all i’ve done is betray your trust-”
“but that’s what second chances are for, no?” seonghwa cuts you off, playfully flicking your forehead as he reminds you, “and i’m pretty sure you’ve chosen me over the royal navy”
your cheeks grow hot
“not you. the crew,” you mutter
he laughs and it’s a wonderful sound
“come on, it’s late,” seonghwa beckons. “let’s get some sleep”
when he sees that you’re still rooted to the spot, unsure whether you are deserving to go back, he decides for you and moves behind you to gently nudge you forward by the shoulders
you let him guide you
his hands are warm, you note, even through the linen of your shirt
his hands are also pretty, you observe, when he tries to fluff your hammock once you two have crept your way back to the berth
seonghwa helps you up into the hammock and you watch as he climbs into his
his hands are also teeming with love, you realise, when he wordlessly extends his arm nearest to you in a silent invitation
if you both reach out, you can just entwine your hands together from your respective hammocks
the burns on your palms have healed nicely and without the need for them to be wrapped, you can feel every expanse of his hand covering yours
he doesn’t retract his hand and neither do you, even though it’s not the most comfortable position and you both lose feeling of your arms soon after
but you lay in your hammock, drifting to the soft snores of the crew members around you and the soft tug of seonghwa’s fingers in yours
sleep comes easy to you
particularly tonight
as it will for the rest of your life
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yunho
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pov: you're the crew's navigator
you know it’s going to happen even before it actually does
you can feel it in the air and from the way the baby hairs around your hairline start to frizz
but you never say anything because you wouldn’t trade it for the moment when the first raindrop hits the back of yunho’s neck and he abandons his duty at the helm to drag you out onto the upper deck
(hongjoong only sighs in defeat before he stations himself at the helm instead)
you don’t like the rain
not like yunho does
you are already looking up from the map spread out in the captain’s quarters, a knowing smile on your face just from the sound of his bounding footsteps alerting you of his presence, when yunho appears with the beckon of rain
you pretend to let yourself be dragged to your feet along to his urges of come on!
but then you dash forward towards the hatch with yunho chasing after your bright laughter
in the short span of time that it has taken him to fetch you, the sprinkle of rain has steadily grown and the weathered planks of the deck are already a dark grey
you feel the coldness of the raindrops hitting the crown of your head and the spreading chill as your clothes start to become damp
but that’s not what makes you feel alive
yunho catches up to you easily and then he is snaking his arms around your waist to lift you up into the air
you barely have time to squeal and steady yourself on his broad shoulders before he is spinning the two of you around, the world blurring away as the spotlight shines on him and he is all that you can see
the deck is your stage and the sea is your audience
rain with yunho is twirling hugs, tiptoed kisses and tinkling laughter. it’s soaked shirts and rosy cheeks and the only thing that matters in the moment
you don’t like the rain, but it’s easy to like the rain when it’s with him
(hongjoong lets the two of you be - so obviously and hopelessly enamoured by each other - because when one sees people in love, one cannot help but watch and smile)
the rain eventually peters out and you and yunho must return to your respective duties, but not until you two have changed out of your drenched clothes and sneaked in a few more kisses
a few hours later, you hear the racket above the deck as a ship pulls up beside the arriba and ropes are thrown across from both sides to lash the vessels close together
hongjoong comes down to join you in his quarters, but he’s not alone
behind him is the captain of the silver light, dae jihoo, and his quartermaster, with seonghwa entering last
you note that this crew doesn’t have a navigator of their own
but you suppose that’s one of the reasons why their captain had implored an alliance for this particular raid
the crew of the silver light are wanting to target the prosperity triangle - an area between three large ports that is frequently trafficked by wealthy vessels transporting valuable goods
it’s a raid that would prove difficult for a smaller pirate crew like your own and the silver light, and especially if they have no navigator
but it’s not uncommon for pirates to form temporary alliances for such purposes, and together, your crews have a good chance of plundering a fortune
you nod your head in acknowledgement when hongjoong introduces you to the two pirates as ateez’s navigator
you don’t miss the way jihoo’s eyes seem to linger on you for a second too long before he flashes a crooked grin and gestures towards the navigational map spread out on the oak table
clearing your throat of discomfort, you step forward and flatten the creases out with your hands
“this is the most open spot within the triangle that the vessel we’re after will pass through,” you tap an annotated spot on the chart, “and this is where we are now”
you slide your finger across, “we’ll follow the rhumb line west to avoid the shallower waters and when we can catch the trade winds, it should be smooth sailing from there”
jihoo challenges you, “how can you be sure we’ll catch the ship within the triangle?”
“they’ll need to sail past the equator and i’m almost certain their ship will be slowed down by the doldrums. we can easily gain knots on them”
he squints at the scribbles you’ve made noting down what you’ve gathered of the wind patterns
you know for a fact that it will mean nothing to him, but whatever he sees must satisfy him because jihoo appears to make up his mind
“when do we set sail?” he directs his question to your captain
“three days from now”
he grunts a noise of affirmation and stands, which hongjoong takes as the cue to see them and the rest of their crew off your ship
you trail behind the group as you all head back to the upper deck
you prepare to emerge from the hatch with a playful wink, knowing that yunho will be craning his neck from the helm to get a glimpse of you, when a sudden holler surprises you out of your thoughts
it’s immediately met with the answering cries of several other pirates - none from your crew - and you hurry to clear the hatch to gain your bearings
you’re thrust right into the throes of battle as ateez are forced to unsheathe their cutlasses to defend against silver light’s sudden attack
having been caught off guard, basically none of your firearms are loaded with gunpowder, rendering them unusable
you will have to make do with the short sabre at your waist
there’s no time to account for the whereabouts and safety of your crew members and you just have to pray that you all make it out of this unscathed
especially yunho
but as ateez retaliate, you all notice something is off about the situation
your crew is very quickly overpowering the other pirates - it was a losing fight for them from the very beginning
it makes no sense to you nor the rest of your crew
the losses of breaking the alliance before the planned raid, much less through betrayal, far outweigh any gains they could possibly make from their choice of action
it makes absolutely no sense
until it does.
you are blocking the swing of a sabre with your own when you are tugged backwards harshly by the collar of your shirt
there’s an angry snarl in your throat as you prepare to turn around, but it’s quickly silenced by the warning shot of a pistol right beside your ear
the cold ring of metal is then pressed to the back of your head
you know that firearms require time to reload and there’s a chance that this pistol is now useless
but, like wooyoung has taught the rest of the crew to do, they may have pre-prepared several pistols and you are not willing to play with fire - especially when you are only the flex of a finger away from death
you vaguely hear someone yell out your name in panic, but you’re not quite sure you hear correctly over the clamour of cutlasses clashing, warcries resounding and your own heartbeat pounding
“stand down or your navigator dies,” the voice behind you thunders
it’s jihoo…and he wants a navigator for his crew
“ateez,” one of your men commands, “lower your weapons”
your crew may make decisions fairly, but in battle, only hongjoong has the power to make commands
yunho has never spoken against his captain or disobeyed orders
until now
the words do not come out of your captain’s mouth but yunho’s
the rest of the members hesitate - they will not stand down unless hongjoong commands them to, yet, they are unsure whether they will be able to follow should he demand them to fight on, even if it means endangering your life
but there is no guarantee jihoo will let your crew go unharmed even after you all surrender, and as the captain, hongjoong must make decisions in the best interest for the crew
“captain!” yunho yells desperately
yunho never yells
“stand down,” hongjoong commands
silver light’s captain steps in closer behind you until you can hear and feel the noise of intriguement that leaves his mouth down the back of your neck
“that your loverboy, hmm?”
he smirks
there’s a false moment of primal relief when the press of the pistol is removed from the back of your head, but it is immediately replaced with fear that is irrevocably worse as he aims it in yunho’s direction and shoots
“no!”
you shriek and pull against the tug of his hold, still fisted around your collar, your pupils blown wide with terror at the sight of the clean hole in the mast right beside yunho’s head
“it’ll be pretty boy’s head next if you don’t come with me,” jihoo coos into your ear
the fight slips out of you immediately
because if you can save him, a life for a life, then you will
even if the sight of mingi holding yunho back from lunging forward when the pistol’s barrel returns to your head makes your heart clench painfully
“y/n, don’t you dare,” yunho pleads, voice filled with anguish
you’re barely given enough time to lock eyes with him and say resolutely, “remember what you said to me,” before you are tugged away to the boarding plank
ateez can only watch helplessly as the planks are removed from over the bulwarks and the last of the ropes are untied, releasing the silver light from their ship for good
jihoo tugs you down the hatch as the ship starts to pull away, and just like that, you’re gone from their sights
“fuck!” yunho shouts furiously, unable to contain his emotions as he turns around and connects his fist with the mast
right where the musket ball had made a hole
his hand pulls away with bloodied knuckles from the splintered wood and the sheer force of his punch
a concerned whine leaves seonghwa’s mouth and he tries to approach the taller, but yunho shakes him off and looks determinedly at hongjoong
“we’re sailing to the banver isle just east of the triangle. we’ll ambush them there”
seonghwa looks between the two, hope flickering in his chest at the potential plan, “you think the silver light are stupid enough to try taking on the prosperity triangle alone?”
yunho chuckles darkly, “they were fucking shitbrained enough to take y/n, so yes”
nobody disagrees and hongjoong smirks dangerously
“ateez, ready the sails for banver isle,” he commands. “prepare for battle”
because not only have the silver light taken you away from ateez, but they have also annihilated the light from yunho’s eyes
gone are his warm brown orbs - they are now black holes thirsty for retribution
there will be lives to pay and even that will not be enough for the void
unaware of what your crew is capable of, jihoo looks down at you with a triumphant leer
“you’ll navigate us to the triangle in three days’ time. don’t even think about lying - you’ve already shown me where the location is”
with an even nod you reply, “of course”
it’s true though - you have absolutely no intention of navigating them somewhere else
because you know yunho will be waiting there for you
amidst chaste kisses exchanged between plush lips cold from the rain, yunho tells you in a brief moment of seriousness
“don’t show them where the real location is,” his breath is warm across your cheeks. “you know the coastal island roughly ten nautical miles away? show them that instead”
you tilt your head to look up at him, “you think they’ll betray us?”
“no,” he reassures you with a deeper, slower kiss, “but we can never be too safe”
and even if your vessels miss each other this time, you have complete faith that yunho will sail to the very ends of the world just to find you
two days before the originally-planned raid, the arriba sails as closely to banver isle as possible without risking running aground
yunho has navigated the ship around the back of the isle so that the form of the rocky terrain conceals them from sight
once the anchor is lowered, the crew members use every ticking moment to make preparations
swords are sharpened and firearms cleaned
mingi distributes the gunpowder and ammunition, which is pre-loaded into muskets, pistols and swivel cannons ready to be engaged
the ship’s sails and riggings are checked and yeosang keeps a keen lookout in the crow’s nest
and it’s as if the world itself can sense the brewing storm that grows inside yunho
the sea is eerily still and silent, but the sky is an omen to something impending, its rolling clouds dark and angry with the threat of rain leering over the waters
yunho doesn’t actually like the rain
he only likes it because it’s with you
rain with you is barefoot dancing, breathless confessions and bashful giggles. it’s drenched locks and fluttering eyelashes and the only thing that exists in the moment
but as the profile of the silver light finally approaches the isle two days later, the heavens split open and you are not by his side
rain without you is falling pinpricks, frigid winds and flaunting mockery and yunho despises it with his entire being
at yeosang’s call of, “vessel approaching from starboard,” up in the lookout, yunho smothers the fervid desire to barrage the other ship with cannonballs like hail from hell; to unleash an inferno that blazes through their hull as he sadistically watches the crew jump for their lives
he stamps out the hunger to shoot the ones that make it into the sea, not to kill, only to maim and induce a long, painful struggle in the open waters until death becomes inevitable - until there is enough blood spilt that it becomes the only stench in the air that stretches across for miles
yunho leashes his monsters with an iron fist
because he will not do anything that could even remotely endanger your life
even if it means that he has to hold back - to sit and wait like prey instead of advancing on the other ship like a predator
at least not yet.
silver light do not know, but this is the calm before the storm
the heavens may be crying, the winds may be howling and the waters may be roiling
but this is nothing compared to yunho
yunho is a tempest of unparalleled rage and their ship is in the eye of his storm
as the bowsprit of the silver light starts to appear around the isle, the members ready their grappling hooks and yunho draws his cutlass with a menacing whisper of unsheathing metal
you are his treasure, and pirates never lose sight of their treasure
today…you return to him
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yeosang
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pov: you're a tavern keeper
watching the ale reach the brim of the tankard you are holding, you’re about to step away from the barrel when the voice of a patron sounds behind you
“‘scuse me, could i get a mint-”
you look up and turn around in confusion as their voice cuts off
only to have the question taken right from the tip of your own tongue as you’re met with the face of the person you had loved for years
the same person you have spent twice as long trying to forget
eyes searching each other’s in a surprised stupor, seeing kang yeosang standing right in front of you takes you back to those memories that you have tried to remember and simultaneously bury
it thrusts you headfirst into what used to be of your shared love - like the feathery remnants of a dream, so distant from the fingers of your consciousness, suddenly returning to vivid existence when you least expect it
“hey, mint leaf. i’m back”
yeosang at least has the perceptiveness to appear a little apologetic, immediately pulling you into a hug and pressing soft kisses against your hairline uncaring of the other people in the tavern
it’s been several weeks since you last saw him, and whilst he had warned you he would be gone for longer this time, you hadn’t expected it to mean two whole months
he’s a small merchant who also fishes along the coast to earn enough to make ends meets, so he’s often gone for a few days or a week or two
you knew what you were in for when you first made it official with him, but just because you become accustomed to something, doesn’t mean it gets any easier
and he’s never been gone for this long
something must have happened - something good - because he looks alive, cheeks glowing and eyes fiery
“i met the crew”
“the crew?” you ask, hands reaching for the bourbon to prepare him a drink as he lets himself behind the counter to stand beside you in your workspace
he nods excitedly, "wooyoung’s pirate crew, ateez"
you think you know where this is going to go and you hate that your stomach sinks at the thought of what your future may become, because yeosang looks so happy to tell you about this and a happy yeosang is all that you could ask for
“the captain offered me a position as their lookout”
you pick out your next words carefully as you hand him his finished drink - a mint julep with two sugar cubes, just the way he likes it
"aren't…isn't being a pirate dangerous?"
“not as dangerous as you might think, actually. they’ve been showing me the ropes the last couple of weeks and…and i think i want to join them. officially”
there it is
the forked end of the road
you wonder how far two people can keep walking with their hands intertwined before the distance becomes too great and they have to let go
his words become a little muddled when he goes on to tell you about how they divvied up their recent loot to include his share too
how he’s gained more money than he’s made from the last two years of working as a merchant and fisherman combined
if he joins his old friend and his crew, he could earn enough to buy his parents a proper house; earn enough to build you your very own tavern
you want to tell him that you don’t need the tavern, just him, but you also know just how important his family is to him
his filial desire to take care of his parents was one of the very reasons you fell in love with him in the first place
before you can say anything though, the tavern keeper is interrupting to let you know that your shift is over
yeosang immediately perks up and herds you out of the place, claiming that there is a new fishing spot he discovered that he has to show you
and so you sit while he rows his modest boat, only the splash of his oars disturbing the peaceful stillness that has settled over the waters as the sun dips below the horizon
the waning light casts a soft, warm glow over him, like a gentle kiss against his skin and birthmark
if angels graced the earth, there would be one sitting right in front of you
“i missed you, mint leaf,” he confesses, gaze shyly averted. “i thought about you when i was gone”
“did you think about showing me this place?” you feel a little breathless
he nods, “every single night”
and that’s enough for you
it feels like everything is okay again
it doesn’t matter if you’re standing at a forked road
you think that perhaps, for him, you can walk on an unpaved path - just so that you can keep holding his hand
“y/n”
yeosang’s voice is deep
the word sounds foreign to your own ears but you don’t dwell on it
(because if you do, you’ll wonder whether it’s because you’ve forgotten the sound of his voice or because you want to hear him calling you something else)
“what would you like to order?” you ask
(because it’s easier to pretend that he’s just another patron than to admit that he used to be all that you ever knew)
yeosang fumbles a little but then regains himself, “oh, um- just a mint julep, please”
you turn your back to him to prepare his drink, hands reaching for the barrels lined along the bottom shelves without needing to look
you’ve made this drink too many times to count
half of those times were in the safety of the darkness that midnight offered; when the tears could flow freely without anyone seeing
it’s only when you start to mix his cocktail that yeosang realises he didn’t ask for his sugar cubes, but he figures the drink will taste bitter tonight either way so he opts to watch you instead
he wishes that he could walk past the counter like he used to and wrap his arms around you
he wishes that he could whisper endearments into your ears and press them against your lips
he wishes that he could show you that he still loves you
“do you still love me?” your voice wavers with hurt as you stand in front of him
he’s finally back after being gone for four months this time and you hate this conversation as much as he does, but it was bound to happen eventually
yeosang pleads, “more than anything”
“then why does it hurt so much? loving you…and being loved by you”
he doesn’t have an answer
but god be damned if he doesn’t try to find a way to fix things
“tell me, mint leaf, what can i do?”
you blink back your tears furiously, having already made up your mind while he was still at sea
“let’s break up”
because in the end, unpaved paths have too many rocks, too many thorns and too many arched roots; they were never meant to be walked along
you pass yeosang his finished drink without another word and then move further down the counter to serve a different customer
his eyes linger on you wistfully before he tears them away from you
it’s a good thing his hair has grown long enough to cover his face when he looks down
because his eyes start to grow wet at the sight of the mint julep you have made him
with two sugar cubes in it, just the way he likes it
perhaps, once you’ve loved somebody, you never really stop loving them
yeosang shows up again the next day and seats himself at the bar
you don’t serve him though, actively avoiding his end of the counter and letting another of your staff tend to him
he orders his usual but he leaves out his request for additional sugar cubes
it feels wrong for him to order it from someone that isn’t you
but you’re watching out of the corner of your eye as the worker mixes the bourbon, sugar and water, topping it with a few mint leaves and then sliding it across the counter for him
you let out a little sigh, half amused, when he takes a small sip and smacks his lips together at the bitterness
you take two sugar cubes and drop it unceremoniously into his pewter cup before you realise what you’re doing
yeosang immediately seizes the opportunity to talk to you
“my crew’s docked for the fortnight…” he waits to see if you’ll respond. you don’t, but you also don’t move away, so he continues. “we’re making some repairs to the hull and sails before our next raid”
you have half a mind to walk away after you reply, “i didn’t ask” 
he forges on regardless
“we’re going to work with another crew for this one. it’s going to increase our chances of a successful raid because-”
your voice comes out a little harsher than you mean for it to when you hiss again, “i didn’t ask”
yeosang’s mouth closes as he pulls away slightly, back straightening
then he says in a softer voice, “i’ve been doing well. wooyoung still takes care of me, even though i’m not new to the crew anymore. i also saw my parents today and they’re happily retired now…”
you don’t stop him from talking this time
because how many sleepless nights have you spent sitting outside your tavern looking up at the stars; how many times have you served a mint julep to a patron and accidentally added sugar cubes; how many moments have you been consumed by the thought of him, simply wondering if he is living well?
this is everything that you have ever wanted - yeosang in the flesh letting you know that, yes, he has been well
but it is also everything that you have ever feared - that he has been well even without you
you don’t know what to feel
“my parents asked about you,” he says gingerly. “how have you been?”
his voice is barely audible, as if he is afraid of what you might say
or perhaps, afraid that you might not say anything at all
“good. excellent,” you force a small smile, your eyes still focused on the mint leaves floating in his drink. you don’t think you can look at him. “i own this place now”
his body loses its tension, cheeks rounding as he looks at you with genuine relief
“that’s…that’s really good to hear”
his words sting
you are unsure if it stings your ego or if it picks at the wound in the shape of the person you have lost
but it hurts to know that he has worried over you in the exact same way you have over him, the whole time you two have been apart
you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the realisation and hot tears well in your eyes almost immediately
your bottom lip starts to crumple so you rush into the back room to escape
“y/n!” yeosang calls out after you, alarmed
when you don’t stop, disappearing into the storage, he jolts up from his seat and follows
your body shudders with every heaving breath you take, unable to stop yourself from crying even harder when you feel him tug you into his chest
you try to pull away but his sturdy arms tighten around you
yeosang refuses to let you go once more
“i hate you,” you sob, struggling against his hold as you hit his chest weakly
he hushes comforts against the crown of your head, soothing noises as he endures your fists
“you have every reason to”
yeosang holds back tears of his own
he feels your body gradually losing its fight, sinking into his embrace instead, hands desperately holding him close
your voice is so impossibly small when you tearfully confess, “but i still love you”
“oh, mint leaf,” he brushes the stray locks of hair away from your face and cradles your jaw tenderly, “i still love you, too”
he presses a soft kiss against your forehead, pulling away once only to reaffirm, “so, so much”
when he kisses you again, his lips taste salty against your own, but nothing has ever tasted sweeter than this
your breath no longer stutters but the tears continue to run down your face because your heart finally feels right after all these years apart
and yet-
you pull away
“we can’t do this”
yeosang feels his heart shattering
“why not? i don’t understand,” he whimpers
“you know why,” you say distressingly, “my life is here, yeosang. i can’t just leave and return whenever i want. but you, on the other hand? you can. you go where your crew goes - you belong with them”
“but my heart belongs to you. please, y/n,” he begs
his arms are still wrapped around you and you feel his desperation as his fingers cling onto you like a lifeline
you look earnestly into his bloodshot eyes, your own vision blurry, “yeo, you’re not the one who gets left behind here. you’re not the one who waits weeks, months, years on end, just hoping that the next person to walk in is the person that you want to see”
he wants to plead that he waits to see you, too, but he knows that he’s the one who leaves, too
“you’re the right one for me - the only one for me - but it’s not the right time,” you tell him gently
slowly, his arms lower themselves from around you
“it wasn’t the right time then and it isn’t the right time now,” he repeats, “then when is the right time for us?”
you shoot the question right back at him, “when is the right time for someone whose life is to sail the world?”
neither of you know the answer
nobody does, because loving a pirate has no certainties
but yeosang doesn’t give up
“if we can’t ever be sure, why don’t we just make it the right time ourselves?”
you caress his cheek sweetly, and despite having stepped away from you earlier, he leans into your hand, starved of your loving touch and affection
“yeosang…what if we’ve already had it? what if…meeting each other was already it? what if we’re just meant to love from a distance, not side by side?” your voice is poignant but resolute
he brings up a hand to cover yours, still warm and tender against his wet cheek
how is it that he can be touching you yet simultaneously feel worlds apart from you
“okay,” he accepts with a whisper
if loving you silently is the only way he gets to love you, then he will choose it in a heartbeat over losing you entirely
he thumbs away the remainder of your tears
“can i kiss you? one last time?” he asks
you nod
“one last time”
your lips slowly meet, slotting together as they find their home in each other’s dips and curves
his hands cradle the small of your back and neck and your own hands rest against his chest
the kiss you share is steady, longing and bittersweet
it conveys everything that you want to say to each other, and even then, it is hardly enough
thank you
i’m sorry
i love you
goodbye…
you can feel your eyes burning up again, but you focus on the feeling of yeosang’s lips against yours instead
because you know that the moment one of you pulls away, that is it forever
in the world of love, there are people who are ill-fated
they meet the right person, but at the wrong time
and then there are people like you and yeosang
not ill-fated, but star-crossed lovers
the right person…
but just not meant to be
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3K notes · View notes
penkura · 8 months ago
Note
Had a thought about Trafalgar law, you come across a little boy and his little sister who are being chased by other pirates for whatever reason and you decided to protect them (basically adopt them at first sight) you tell them to run to the docks to find your captain/love interest for help. While holding off the pirate crew you take damage....I could picture law seeing him and lammi in the little ones and becoming protective just as you are with them
I turned this into a full one-shot, scenario thing cause I just couldn't NOT after I read this! I hope you like it!! 💚
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“Law, I can explain.”
“Please. Enlighten me, [Y/N]-ya.”
With his arms crossed, Law listens very closely as you start to explain the situation you’re in now, why you were injured and why the hell there are two children on the Polar Tang now, a set of siblings that you swear you hadn’t fully intended to bring with you. A boy no younger than five and a girl no more than two, they’d ran into you on the last island you docked at, the place having been taken over and ravaged by another pirate crew, begging you for help. The orphanage they lived at had been burned down, their caretakers were missing, and no one had been willing to help them until you stopped. Their story felt like a knife twisting your heart, causing you to direct them to the docks and that as soon as they found the big yellow submarine, to look for the guy with a spotted hat and tattoos, tell him you sent them there if you didn’t get back first.
You hadn’t fully intended to bring them on board, but your crew ended up being in a rush when you came back with a gash on your temple and a stab wound on your arm, you ushered them on board and not even Law noticed them at first. It wasn’t until he went to treat your wounds and the two were holding onto you for dear life that he questioned you on where on earth these two came from, leading to the current situation.
“That’s, that’s really it, I swear,” you quickly bend down and lift up the girl as she starts to whine a bit, Law watching you, “I didn’t think we’d end up taking them with us.”
“Their caretakers are probably looking for them.”
“They said no one was around that they recognized. Law, please, I’ll—”
“This ship isn’t a place for children, let alone toddlers.”
You know he’s right, based on the small nod you give as you look at the girl, laying her head on your shoulder, still whining a bit with her thumb in her mouth. You don’t even have items on the Polar Tang to help you take care of two small children, but even still, you want to help them. You’ve heard your captain/boyfriend tell you before that pirates don’t help people, but the Straw Hats do that everywhere they go, why can’t you do the same for these two orphans? Even if it’s until the next island, you could do something positive for them.
Knowing you as well as he does, Law is aware he’s not going to win this battle. You’re already getting attached, even if he tells you to leave them at the next port, you’re going to be heartbroken doing so. As soon as Bepo sees them it’s going to be even more difficult, the mink loves children and will fight to keep them on board too, even if it might be seen as insubordination by some. He can’t even deny that there’s a part of him that wants to help them, clenching his jaw as he watches you comfort the girl, asking if she’s tired or hungry before her older brother says she’s hungry, knowing her so well.
It reminds him of how well he knew Lami, every little tick and tell that showed what she needed or wanted when she was little. The age gap between these siblings is about the same as his and Lami’s was.
If she were there she’d be on your side to keep these kids around.
“Law,” the disappointed look on your face makes his heart drop, and Law sighs knowing he’s lost this one, “I’ll look for an orphanage at the next island, for now—”
“As soon as Bepo sees them it’s going to be impossible to let them go…”
“Then…!” You brighten up so quickly that Law has to look away from you as he nods. Your smile is too bright for him sometimes, despite how long you’ve been together.
“They’re your responsibility.”
Nodding, you take the boy’s hand and start to lead him to the kitchen, only stopping long enough to kiss Law.
“Thank you, Law. I love you!”
“Yeah,” Law sighs and watches you leave, asking the newest Heart Pirate crewmates what they want for lunch, “love you too.”
+!+
Their names are Noa and Luna, you find out while you make them something to eat with Penguin’s help. He holds Luna as she fusses for something to eat, promising her it’s on the way, as Noa tells you a little more about what’s happened to the two in recent months.
Their parents died in a house fire that happened while the siblings were with their grandfather for the day, who ended up taking them in after the accident. He unfortunately passed a few weeks ago from pneumonia, leaving the two with nowhere else to go but the orphanage, until it was ransacked and almost burned down by the pirates that invaded their home the other day. Noa did all he could to keep Luna safe and fed the last couple of days, and when he saw you, he just felt like he hadto try, he hoped you would help them and luckily you did.
The story almost gets Penguin to even cry, but Luna’s little cries keep him from doing so. You take her from him once it’s all ready, a very basic chicken fried rice you made with some leftovers for Noa and some mashed potatoes with bites of the same chicken for Luna, sitting down with the toddler in your lap to help her eat. Penguin joins you and just watches, it’s such a domestic scene, very strange for a pirate crew.
“Can’t believe captain is letting them stay…”
“I guess something convinced him it would be okay.” You shrug as Luna attempts to take the spoon from you, but settles for holding onto your hand while you keep feeding her. Noa digs in so quickly and is nearly done, ready for seconds that you’d think he hasn’t eaten in weeks, not days.
“Yeah, that something is you,” Penguin grins while you roll your eyes, “but maybe also cause he was reminded of his sister.”
You know Law’s life story very well at this point, you can easily tell when it’s all gotten to him again based on how he stays in his office those nights, only letting you come in when you realize what’s happening again. Letting you almost coddle and pamper him with love and sweet words of how proud they all are of him, it’s enough those nights to bring him back to your shared bed, though he keeps his face buried in your chest and if there are any tears you don’t let on that you notice them.
It's been a long time but it still affects him all the same, you’ll gladly stay and help Law through all of it. You love him too much to let him deal with it alone.
“Ah, who knows,” he shrugs this time before getting up to leave after serving Noa more fried rice and ruffling his hair, “Maybe captain is thinking of you two having a kid now!”
That comment just makes your face heat up as you glare at him and he laughs.
“Shut up, Penguin.”
+!+
Everyone takes to the young siblings quickly, especially Bepo when he does meet them. Luna becomes attached instantly and falls asleep without much problem for a nap, Noa trying to climb on Bepo to play until he lays down with the toddler asleep on him, the five-year-old joining for a warm, comfortable nap that afternoon. It becomes quite common to find the three napping together over the next few weeks.
Lists are made of what you need to pick up next time to ensure these kids have a chance and can live comfortably on the submarine, Ikkaku and Hakugan taking the reins on that when you dock again. Uni and Clione watch the two whenever you’re busy elsewhere, and Noa treats Jean Bart like a jungle gym too, though he doesn’t complain simply because it’s cute. The whole crew enjoys helping care for the siblings, Noa and Luna being seen as a full-fledged members right away, in spite of how young they are. Noa constantly asks to help people with things and it normally ends up with him helping fold laundry as Luna toddles around, giving bright smiles and giggles to everyone.
It’s takes more time for Law to warm up to the two, even as they’ve been sharing your room and bed, since there’s no other place for them on the ship. He hasn’t argued with you about it, even when he’s woken up with Luna snug against his side or Noa on top of him, it’s weirdly sweet and he doesn’t seem to mind it.
You can tell he’s becoming more accepting of having these two kids around, as he starts to carry Luna when she lifts her arms up to him, he easily scoops her up in his arms and continues what he was doing even when she lays her head on his shoulder and yawns. Noa has come to start asking Law all kinds of questions about medicine and medical procedures, your boyfriend explaining it the best he can so a child can understand it.
A part of you wonders if he’ll be like this with your own children one day, if you have any.
For now, you soak up the moments like this one, where you catch the three fast asleep in your bed, Noa curled up beside Law while Luna is asleep on his chest, a copy of Sora Warrior of the Sea in your boyfriend’s hand, obviously he’d been reading to them before they’d all fallen asleep. It makes you smile to yourself as you cover them with a blanket, placing soft kisses on foreheads and cheeks where you find them, enough so that it wakes Law and he just looks at you.
“They both love you, Law.”
He hums a bit, gently grabbing your wrist to pull you into bed with them, you bring Noa close to you and let him snuggle against you in his sleep.
“…did I tell you she called me dada the other day?”
“No, you didn’t!” You have to keep your surprise down to not wake the two, “When did that happen?”
“Luna wanted my attention but I was busy with something. I guess she got frustrated and it just came out…I didn’t mind it.”
“That’s good, Law,” once you kiss his cheek again, you lay your head on his shoulder and close your eyes while Law brings you closer to him, “I’m glad you let them stay.”
“Yeah…so am I.”
Maybe one day Law will admit to you he saw himself and Lami in Noa and Luna, but for now, he’ll just accept that most of his days will be cut short with naps and bedtime stories and his work will he interrupted by the little girl that needs held. He really doesn’t mind it, it’s a nice change of pace.
Maybe the Straw Hats have it right that you can be a pirate and help people after all.
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crimson-and-clover-1717 · 16 days ago
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This is one of my favourite scenes. I think it showcases their characters so well.
How tender Stede is with Ed’s absolute chaos of a breakfast
Stede’s confident body language - he ‘did good’ last night
Ed’s calmness and vulnerability in sharing one of the darkest moments of his life, and how his belief in Stede’s love helped him live again.
I hurt a little that Ed is desperately and poignantly trying to tell Stede he wants to give up the violent way of life, but doesn’t quite have the words… but this will sort itself later.
But the little moment that gets me is the toast.
S: ‘Toast… with a bite already taken’
E: ‘… that was me.’
That was me.
First, it’s Taika’s delivery of the line. It’s so light and subtly funny. Ed’s almost pleased with himself. You don’t make someone breakfast and hand it over with your own teethmarks in it, Ed! But also, thanks for clarifying. In case it was Roach or Archie instead. Like, obviously it was Ed!
That was me.
But it got me thinking about life on ships, and Ed’s Hornighost memories in the gravy basket about Felix stealing food, and the severe punishment for that. Food on a ship would be tightly controlled. And the idea, you would take a bite out of another person’s breakfast, especially your Captain’s! It’s almost an act of insubordination.
Now of course Stede doesn’t run that sort of ship, and Stede and Ed are in an intimate relationship; but fear is long-lived, and Ed has grown up and lived within punitive cultures. I mean, imagine if he’d taken a bite out of his dad’s food!
To be so relaxed that he wanders down to the kitchens, gets food for his lover, but also his Captain, and eats some of it on the way. And openly admits to it with no bother… they’ve rekindled their previous domesticity, and more.
I think it tells much about their intimacy, but also how much Ed is healing from his past. They are just going to be that sort of annoying restaurant couple that constantly eat off each other’s plates.
Perhaps that’s a lot of overthinking about a piece of toast. But I love finding meaning in the minutiae. The little details that tell us so much about the character growth of these two.
There’s a bite in my toast!
That was me
That was me 💕
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bookworrm1999 · 18 days ago
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How Far Away? Part 5
Caleb x Mc
Tags: unplanned pregnancy, presumed death, depression, miscommunication
Summary: Mc and Caleb fight right before he goes on a long mission into space. Caleb ends up MIA while Mc finds out she's pregnant. She struggles to deal with the grief while Caleb is fighting for his life to make it back home to her.
AO3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12
Epilogue
Caleb had been at this for over a week now.
He was exhausted, he could feel it down to his bones
His eyes were twitching, his head hurt, his face felt a little numb, his body felt weak.
All he wanted to do was slump to the floor and sleep for a week.
That wasn’t in the cards for him though, he had to get home to you
He couldn’t let his concentration slip too much or all the progress he had made in pulling them away from the black hole behind them, would be all lost
All he could do was take short naps, really only being half asleep.
It left him feeling vulnerable, staying in the this one spot in the command center. Keeping his eyes on one spot in space to concentrate his evol there to create the counter black hole.
He didn’t know if his crew thought that he was doing this all for them or just to save his own hide but they seemed to respect him more
After all, regardless of his reasons, he was saving all of their lives as a side effect.
They brought him a comfy chair from one of the crew members private quarters. One woman from the kitchen brought him easy to eat, protein rich meals.
Caleb had tried to wave it away, saying it should be given to the other crew members.
She had just stared at him stubbornly, an older lady who looked like she was old enough to be his mother.
“Colonel, you are the one working the hardest right now. If you don’t think we can spare a bit of food for you, you are sorely mistaken. Now, forgive me if this sounds like insubordination but young man,”
She shoves the food into his lap
“You need to eat.”
The woman walked away with satisfaction written on her face.
Caleb felt properly chastised now and by someone other than the love of his life.
Well he wasn’t going to complain, food helped him keep his energy up since he couldn’t even sleep much now.
Maybe his crew weren’t so bad after all.
Not that he was going to take it easy on them but he found he didn’t mind that he was also saving their lives too.
His head was pounding now, rubbing his fingers into his temples and massaging his head didn’t do much to aleve him of the feeling
Grabbing the water bottle beside him, he drank his electrolyte water greedily.
Despite them rationing everything as much as they could, their food stores were starting to deplete.
They weren’t meant to idle in this place for this long. The ship was meant to be closer to the exit of the deepspace tunnel at this point of time.
Meeting up with a supply ship was supposed to happen around the time that this whole ordeal had happened.
Caleb supposed that the traitor had already met up with the supply ship, reporting on the rest of the crews and his own demise.
His fingers tightening on the chair’s armrest, his leather gloves creaking under the pressure.
A sly grin coming into bloom on his stormy face.
If that dirty little saboteur had thought that they had gotten away with murder, well they had no idea about the storm coming their way.
Revenge would be sweet indeed.
Caleb really hoped that they hadn’t immediately taken that bastard’s word at face value though.
He knows that the shuttle's logs would’ve shown the recent incident with the wanderer and black hole.
They would surely be sending out a ship to investigate.
If he could just finish pulling them out of the black holes area of influence.
Then they could limp their way slowly back and hopefully meet that investigation ship.
Sighing deeply, he thought of her. His guiding pipsqueak, he wondered if she knew the history behind the term. How a pipsqueak was the guidance system aboard an airplane.
His guiding light.
Caleb hoped that she was doing ok, hopefully word of what had happened hadn’t reached her.
That she didn’t think that he had left her in this world all alone again.
He didn’t want to die but he thought that her dying would be worse.
She was his whole reason for living, the thing that kept him going from the time they were young and stuck in Ever’s lab together.
Thoughts of his time with her, her smile, laugh, their tangling of limbs late into the night. It was what kept him going now.
Caleb was so tired, he had never used his evol at full strength for this long before.
It was a miracle that he hadn’t collapsed already.
He had a feeling that she was the reason for the miracle.
Time passed slowly and agonizingly. Caleb almost seemed to think he was hallucinating at times.
Her laugh echoing through the empty command center, bouncing off of the cold metal.
Space was so lonely.
It was now a week until the ship was supposed to have reached home.
Just a bit more, Caleb told himself. Half delirious, stomach pangs hitting him hard
He hadn’t eaten in two days, the food stores basically gone.
Surviving off of electrolyte water as thankfully the water filtration systems were still operational.
This was by far the worst day. He needed to distract himself somehow. Okay, breathe.
Breathe in
The sound of her squeal when he picked her up by her thighs and threw her on the bed.
Breathe out
The mischievous giggle she makes when she thinks she’s gotten away with something. He’d let her get away with murder.
Breathe in
Her cute pout when he beats her in any video game they play. Until she bursts into laughter from him tickling her to get her attention again.
Breathe out
The sunlight shining in her hair, her content face leaning towards the sun like a sunflower, making him feel like an angel had descended down just for him.
Then he felt it, the release.
The black hole had finally let go of the ship.
He slumped back into the chair, sweat plastering his hair to his forehead. Panting as if he had been in a 10k marathon. Which it might as well have been.
His lieutenant came into the room, feel the jerk of the ship.
“Sir? Are we free?”
Right, he still had a job to do. He pulled his hat off his head, brushing his sweaty hair back out of his eyes. Settling his hat back onto his head he started to say
“Yes, let the engine room know that we can start to make our way-“
Caleb stood up out of the chair he had been living in. Too fast.
That’s weird, where was his lieutenant’s face? All he can see is her face. Bright and shining as she laughs.
Oh his face feels blissfully cool, that was nice.
His ears were ringing.
That wasn’t nice.
He could hear loud shouts and someone shaking him. Barely able to make the words out
“Sir! Sir, are you okay?”
He’s fine, he’s on cloud nine. He’s just ready for a nap. Yes a nap, that sounds wonderful. Caleb’s eyes closed, ready to rest for the first time in weeks.
He woke again an indeterminate amount of time later.
Not really wanting to get up yet, he could just barely make some words out.
“Severely dehydrated and malnourished, we need-“
“- drop a saline bag and push a calorie bag of 5000.”
“Get me some propranolol, dose him at 1 mg over three-“
“His heart rate is out of control!”
“Keep pushing propranolol!”
“He’s seizing!”
“Push lorazepam, 2 mg over-!”
That was weird, he felt like he was floating over his body.
People scrambled around him frantically. He can hear a loud beeping noise from one side of the room.
Nurses pushing syringes into an open IV in his left arm.
Caleb closed his eyes again, he hoped he’d see her soon.
“Heart rate dropping, down to 40 beats a minute!”
“Code blue!” was the last thing he heard before drifting off.
Tags: @moonberry69 @supermyeon22 @tinnyrabbit @gavin3469 @marina27826 @crowleysthings @tabi-callico @midiplier
@his-ocean-emissary @rosalyne08 @dummiebunny @tsunamethyst @xaviers-pookie-bear
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pedgito · 2 months ago
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wishing everyone a belated happy holidays and early happy new year! december was a hectic month for me so i didn't read nearly as much as i wanted to, but these are the fics i enjoyed in the time that i had. i went through a bit of a series binge early this month, as you'll see below. here's to all the fluffy, angsty, smutty goodness everyone is bound to cook up in 2025!
this key will help you figure out which fics are more your vibe, or if you’re just curious of the contents before you dive in:
smut = 🌶️, fluff = ☁️ angst = ☄️
total fics listed below: 18
✎ — 𝐉𝐎𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑
↝ hook 'em series by @joeloverture — 🌶️
Trying to get back at your cheating quarterback ex-boyfriend leads you right into the arms of his coach. You plan on staying there for a little while.
↝ smooth operator series by @penascigarette — ☄️, 🌶️
You didn't know why Joel was so different from your other clients. His voice was the first thing to catch your attention, followed closely by words so hot they lit a fire within you. Everything he said drew you to him like a moth to a flame; but that's the problem with fire. Someone is bound to get burnt.
↝ limits by @perotovar — 🌶️
So like, imagine a world where bulls evolved to be bi-pedal and can mate with humans, but it’s not a common practice. Don’t think too hard about it, just imagine you’re a new farm hand/stable boy and caught the attention of one of those bulls, okay?
↝ the one you need series by @loliwrites — 🌶️, ☄️, ☁️
When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at an arm’s length, your neighbor Joel finds his way into your life.
↝ stay forever by @mrsmando, part one: stay while — 🌶️, ☁️
You & Joel finally reach jackson, and the life you’ve dreamed of becomes reality — with a few twists and turns along the way.
↝ i'm empty without you, so come grow within me by @chronically-ghosted — 🌶️, ☄️
With winter approaching, Joel takes stock of what he wants and what he has in his life. He wants you, but he’s not quite sure he has you, not in a way that only a life in Jackson can afford. Joel’s an old-fashioned guy, so he’s looking for an old-fashioned love…if he can only remember how to do it right.
↝ mr. winter by @kedsandtubesocks — 🌶️, ☁️
You wrote that letter to Santa as a joke (knowing he obviously wouldn’t answer it) until he does - and he comes with a proposition.
↝ through the glass by @murder-wife — 🌶️
Your neighbor, Joel, seems to have a revolving door of dates. He also doesn't seem to have a taste for keeping his curtains closed. You can't help but watch when it feels like he wants you to see what he's doing to them.
↝ but he's the one i want by @wheresarizona — 🌶️
All you needed was to see if your dad’s friend, Joel, had a spare key to your father’s house. Instead, you get railed within an inch of your life on Joel’s couch. 
✎ — 𝐃𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐉𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍
↝ shadows by @burntheedges — 🌶️
You were pretty sure the ship was haunted.
✎ — 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐒/𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐔𝐒
↝ guilty as sin by @ovaryacted — ☄️, 🌶️
Being the daughter of a Senator of Rome has it’s pros and cons, you lived comfortably while constantly being reminded of your insubordinate position in society. However, upon meeting General Acacius, your life changes as you begin to grow fond of him. The question is, will he reciprocate your feelings, or cast you out to suffer your impending doom of unwanted courtship?
↝ fit for a goddess by @ozarkthedog
You wear Marcus’s gold laurel crown while he worships you.
↝ propositio by @gracieheartspedro — ☄️, 🌶️
After assembling an army to win back Rome, you finally get to confront the traitor to your cause. General Marcus Acacius.
↝ foxglove downs series by @whocaresstillthelouvre — 🌶️
In the exclusive realm of elite show jumping, where wealth stretches as far as the polished estates, Marcus Acacius and Lucius Verus are locked in a fierce competition that reaches far beyond the arena.
✎ — 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒
↝ nut vid with the sound on by @syd-djarin — 🌶️
You accidentally send Frankie a text that he wasn’t supposed to see.
✎ — 𝐉𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐀
↝ helping hand by @/mrsmando — ☁️, 🌶️
You and Javi take a bath together.
✎ — 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐑 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐀
↝ reprieve by @hauntedhowlett-writes — ☄️, 🌶️
When angry, Emperor Geta seeks reprieve in his empress.
✎ —𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐀
↝ death kink by @s-lverwing — ☄️
Devotion between you and Caracalla is measured in blood.
likes, reblogs, and comments keep the motivation alive, so if you’re taking a look at these for the first time, please leave a kind word for these writers or just reblog, even. support your writers <3
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nananarc · 6 months ago
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All the Daddelard art I have managed to procure in a short few months of obsession lol
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til-all-are-loved · 24 days ago
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{This Charming Man Part 6}
MTMTE Megatron x Reader | SFW Word Count 2,464
Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
The walk back to your chambers was quiet, the familiar thrum of  the quantum engines was absent– they had been powered down while the ship idled in orbit. 
You moved on instinct, your mind still on the conversation that had unfolded in the shuttle. The datapad rested in your hands, its weight a reminder of the confession Megatron had placed in your care.
Trust.
It wasn’t something he expected or deserved.
But he wanted it.
That was what unsettled you the most—not that he had given you something so deeply personal, but that you had accepted it without hesitation.
 Furthermore, it seemed he had only recently begun to see you as a person rather than an observer lurking in the background. The shift had been subtle at first—a glance held a moment longer, a conversation that stretched past necessity. But now, with the weight of his trust resting in your hands, the change felt undeniable.
You palmed open the door to your quarters. The overhead lights flickered on automatically, casting long shadows across the desk where your reports were written. 
You had admitted it before to yourself, in passing, but now the truth settled in—you were attracted to him. His voice, the deliberate way he carried himself, the way his optics lingered when you challenged him. You wanted to feel needed by him. It didn’t change anything. It couldn’t. But at least you could acknowledge it now.
Thoughts of your old colleagues crept in, unbidden. What would they say if they knew? To them, Megatron was a name synonymous with tyranny, his crimes etched into history like an immovable scar. They wouldn’t see what you saw—the quiet deliberation behind his words, the moments where his guard slipped just enough to reveal what he carried. They would call you compromised. Maybe you were. But what did it matter when the person they feared had already changed into something else—something still still dangerous, but captivating?
But beneath your defensiveness, something else stirred. Excitement. A strange, private thrill lit up your spirit, impossible to ignore. This wasn’t just a mission anymore. It was personal. You were seeing a side of Megatron few, if any, ever had. And for now, it was yours. Yours to process, yours to hold onto, yours to unravel at your own pace.
And the idea of that—of knowing something no one else did—felt intoxicating.
Your hands hovered over the keyboard, but you didn’t start typing.
Instead, you stared at the blank screen, the cursor blinking expectantly.
What was left to say?
You exhaled slowly, then let your fingers press against the keys.
Report to Earth Command – Month 18Ambassador’s Log
The situation aboard the Lost Light remains operationally stable. There have been no major incidents requiring intervention, and Megatron continues to adhere to the terms of his Autobot command. However, I must formally address a growing concern regarding my ability to provide an objective assessment.
You paused, your breath catching slightly at the admission forming on the screen. But you forced yourself to keep going.
Megatron continues to fulfill his role as co-captain of the Lost Light in accordance with the conditions outlined in his Autobot commission. There have been no recorded incidents of insubordination, nor any deviations from Autobot regulations. His command style remains structured, and his cooperation with the crew has been largely without issue.
However, this report seeks to address a developing concern regarding the integrity of this assessment and my ability to maintain impartiality.
Your fingers hesitated again.
He has displayed no outward signs of attempting to exert undue influence or revert to past authoritarian tendencies. Instead, he has exhibited a deliberate effort to engage in dialogue, accept criticism, and demonstrate accountability for his past actions.
This is not to suggest that the weight of his history has been erased, nor that his transition should be accepted without scrutiny. Rather, it is to acknowledge that his actions aboard the Lost Light contrast with the widely held perception of him as an immutable war criminal.
However, I must formally state that my capacity to provide an entirely unbiased report has become compromised. Prolonged exposure to his leadership, as well as direct engagement in discussions regarding his past and ideological evolution, has influenced my perception beyond strict observation. While I do not believe this has resulted in misrepresentation within prior reports, I can no longer guarantee that my assessments are entirely free from personal perspective.
You swallowed, staring at the words. They were damning, but they were honest.
Megatron remains compliant with Autobot leadership structures, and his conduct does not indicate any immediate threat or risk of recidivism. Continued monitoring is advised, but based on the data gathered, there is no evidence to suggest he is leveraging his position for subversive purposes.
However, due to the concerns outlined above regarding the potential for bias in my ongoing assessment, I defer to Earth Command’s judgment on whether my continued presence aboard the Lost Light remains the most effective course of action.
You hovered over the SEND command.
This was what Earth Command needed to know. That you were compromised. That someone else—someone without these entanglements—should take your place.
You set the data pad aside, pushing it further across your desk until it hit the edge of a stack of reports, half-buried beneath the paperwork you’d long neglected. Out of sight, out of mind. That business is done now. You had filed your report, voiced your concerns, and for tonight, at least, you weren’t going to dwell on it any longer.
You exhaled, stretching your arms over your head as you stood, joints popping after so long spent hunched over. The artificial lighting of your quarters buzzed softly overhead, casting the metallic walls in a dull, sterile glow. It wasn’t unpleasant, exactly, but it wasn’t warm, either. Like much of the Lost Light, your assigned living space was built for function over comfort. The ship’s engineers had done their best to replicate human accommodations, but in the end, it still felt like a small, self-contained habitat wedged inside a much larger space designed for Cybertronian scale.
Your “apartment” was nestled within what was originally meant to be a shared mech’s quarters—two massive recharge slabs on opposite sides of the room, with ceilings so high you could barely make out the edges where they met the walls. A metal scaffold had been constructed along one side, with a staircase leading up to your human-sized living space, walled off to create a separate environment comprising a bit more than half the room. It was practical, but being so small in the middle of all that empty space gave the unsettling impression that you were some kind of pet kept in an enclosure.
You stepped into your wash racks, shedding your uniform. The space was sufficient, a small metal chamber with an adjustable shower nozzle fitted into the wall. It was too clinical to be called a real bathroom, but it served its purpose. You had the foresight to bring along your own soft towels, stock of your favorite personal care items, and even little decorative tchotchkes, the reminders of home providing a sense of comfort. The moment the warm water hit your skin, some of the tension in your shoulders eased.
You scrubbed away the day, letting the steam cloud the edges of your thoughts. The report was done. Whatever happened next was beyond your control.
Afterward, wrapped in a towel, you wandered back into your living space, eyeing the rumpled sheets of your bed before deciding you weren’t quite ready to sleep. Instead, you flopped onto the couch, reaching for the small controller nestled between the cushions.
A familiar game booted up, the television bathing your face in a cool glow. It was something simple, a time-killer—one of the few forms of entertainment you had out here. The crew had been generous with sharing their media, but there were limits to what was compatible with human tech, and even then, the majority of Cybertronian entertainment was... well, a bit incomprehensible.
You thought about messaging Swerve to see if he was still up—he was always up—but hesitated. You weren’t in the mood for conversation. Not tonight.
---
The report was transmitted, you had no way of knowing the truth.
Not a single word of it would ever reach Earth.
Instead, it would land quietly, unnoticed, in Megatron’s personal files.
And he would read every word.
---
Megatron sat alone in his quarters, the glow of his terminal casting sharp lines of light across his features. He read in silence, optics scanning each line with an impassive expression, absorbing every detail. But within the careful neutrality in her, he could see it. The warmth. The distinctly human instinct to understand.
It unsettled him.
A slow ex-vent. He sat back in his chair, the metal creaking beneath his weight. He should have expected this.
It was only natural that prolonged exposure to him, to the reality of his existence beyond the war, would begin to erode the preconceptions she had carried with her onto this ship. He had allowed it. Encouraged it, even. A few carefully placed conversations, an acknowledgment here, a fleeting moment of understanding there—small, deliberate gestures, each one nudging her further along the path he had laid. A path to what?
Compassion was the outcome, and he was the cause of it. That should be a victory.
Megatron’s optics narrowed as he skimmed further, fingers resting lightly against his chin. She had read the poem, of course. He had known that the moment he gave it to her. 
Handing her that datapad was a mistake surely- his poetry constituted sensitive material. Material which he allowed himself to place in the hands of a human. Bitterness flushed through his systems. He could almost taste putrid fools energon on his glossa at the thought of meeting her wet eyes again wide and searching. He hated it. 
The hatred and rage could only flare so much. The darkness that had penetrated his spark ran deeply, at one time the well of contempt he could draw from was endless. Now as he reached for more venom he could grasp at nothing more. And when the anger was gone only guilt and regret remained to take its place.
He would have to walk it—no matter how much it unsettled him. No matter how much it forced him to confront the parts of himself he had buried.
Megatron’s hand hovered over the terminal, just for a klik before typing.
We regret to inform you that your resignation request is currently pending due to an unforeseen bureaucratic delay. Our department is working diligently to process all outstanding submissions, and we will notify you as soon as your request has been reviewed.
He read it over once, then sent it.
The lie sat uneasily in his systems, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. She needed to stay. That much was clear. The reasons, however, were harder to pin down. It wasn’t strategy. It wasn’t even about keeping a watchful eye on a potential weakness in the crew. No—there was something else, something he couldn’t quite force himself to name.
For now, it was enough to justify keeping her close. To ensure that every report she sent passed through his hands first, to study every thought she committed to writing. It wasn’t control. Not exactly.
With a low sigh, he lifted a hand and turned it over in the faint glow of the room. Scuffs and fine scratches marred the dark plating of his palm, remnants of skirmishes, maintenance work, and erosion of time. His servos had been made and unmade countless times, not much of his original body remained with him at present.
He flexed his fingers, watching the servos respond with perfect precision despite their imperfections. This body—his current form—had been reforged for another purpose. It had once been built for conquest, for crushing those who opposed him without hesitation. Now, its function has been rewritten. The weight of a fusion cannon had long since been stripped from his arm, and yet, even now, his hand curled as if expecting to feel its familiar presence.
Old habits.
He retrieved a polishing block from a nearby compartment, dragging it over the ridges of his knuckles with slow, methodical movements. It was an absent-minded ritual, one that had little effect beyond occupying his hands while his mind continued to churn.
His optics flickered toward the closed terminal once more. The report would never make it intended recipients. That, at least, was something still within his control.
Megatron set the block aside, flexed his fingers one last time, then stood. There was work to be done. And he would not allow himself to linger on this folly any longer than necessary. With a final glance around the quiet, empty room, he stepped out into the corridor.
He moved with purpose, letting the gentle hum of the Lost Light’s engines settle into the background. His mind should be elsewhere—on command duties, on logistical matters, on the countless routine obligations that kept the ship running.
Kt-oom vvrrt Kt-oom vvvrt Kt-oom
Step by thunderous step.
A voice interrupted his march.
"You’re up late."
Megatron's optics flickered toward the source—Rung, standing a short distance away, hands clasped in front of him. He wasn’t blocking Megatron’s path, nor did he make any indication that he intended to linger. And yet, there was something in the way he regarded him that suggested he had been waiting.
Megatron sighed, his expression unreadable. "A captain's responsibilities do not adhere to a schedule."
"Mm," Rung hummed, the sound deliberately neutral. "Of course. But I’d imagine you’d be accustomed to delegating by now."
Megatron narrowed his optics slightly. “Is there something you need, Rung?”
The smaller mech tilted his head slightly, studying him with that infuriatingly patient expression. “No,” he said simply. “But I suspect there’s something you need.”
Megatron tensed, just slightly, before letting his frame settle back into its usual commanding stillness. “If this is an invitation for another one of your attempts at psychoanalysis, I must decline. I have no interest in unnecessary introspection tonight.”
Rung made no attempt to stop him as Megatron took a step forward. But just before he could pass, the psychiatrist spoke again softly.
"It’s a funny thing about people, Megatron. The more you try to obscure yourself, the clearer you tend to become."
Megatron halted for a fraction of a second. Not long enough to be called hesitation, but long enough that Rung would have noticed.
Megatron didn’t turn back.
"Goodnight, Rung."
And then he was gone, his footfalls heavy against the corridor floor, the shadows swallowing his form.
Rung watched him go, optics flickering with contemplation before he finally turned in the opposite direction.
---
Authors Note // This song was on my mind while working on this chapter :)
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quasi-normalcy · 8 months ago
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🔥 Star Trek
About the entire franchise?
Alright: I think that it always needs to walk a tightrope between depicting a better future and laundering propagandistic military/colonial narratives. I think that, of the series, TNG and DS9 walked this line best, the former by ensuring that it always (almost always) stayed on the right side of the line, the latter by calling attention to the line and problematizing it whenever it crossed it. Picard season 1 was actually very, very good at recognizing this line and illustrating what happens when your society crosses from the one side to the other side. One of the many reasons why I dislike Picard season 3 is that it seemed blissfully unaware of the line's existence. But for my money, the series with the absolute worst track record of recognising that this line exists and staying on the right side of it (and this is where the scaldingly hot take comes in)...is Voyager.
Seriously, though. We have a ship in the middle of nowhere. It's a Starfleet vessel nominally, but everyone in Starfleet thinks that it's dead, and a third of the crew are rebels who don't want to be there in the first place. And yet, for some reason...it continues to operate under strict military discipline at all times. The ship is basically a military dictatorship under Janeway, absolute, unquestionable, and (as far as anyone knows) for the rest of all of their lives. When one of the Maquis guys in the first season questions why this should be so, Chakotay slugs him. Everyone wears uniforms at all times; we barely see civilian outfits, even on the Maquis, after the first episode. There's another episode where Tom commits insubordination and they keep him in solitary confinement (a form of torture, btw) for a month. There's an episode in the seventh season where Seven of Nine imagines becoming fully human and the way that she embraces her newfound individuality...is by wearing a uniform. So...when you're little better than an automaton, you get to wear whatever you want, but when you're a fully realised person, you join the navy? Oooookay. Everyone is locked permanently into their jobs. Like we all laugh at poor Harry Kim and his "forever an ensign" problem, but just consider what it's like for the poor guy. He doesn't know if he's ever getting home. Every day, he gets up and he goes to the bridge and he presses buttons and takes shit from everyone else...and that's it. That's his life. As far as he's aware, when he's ninety years old, he'll still be up there with one pip on his collar, taking orders and pushing buttons with veined and palsied hands. That's his life; he is his job; they're all their positions in the military hierarchy and that's all that they will ever be...and they're happy about it. There are no labour disruptions, no: "Hey, maybe Chakotay could try pushing buttons for a few days and I could try dispensing New Age wisdom." When Neelix asks to cross-train with Security, he's politely rebuffed. But they're happy about it. Nobody seems to have a serious problem with this. The text of the series is about the value of human individuality versus the "mindless drones" of the Borg Collective, but the subtext is about the value and satisfaction that comes with absolute submission to a power structure. I mean, I like the series nonetheless, it has lots of good episodes, but...honestly?
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dimplyowl · 5 months ago
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Today I want to talk about intentions. A while ago I made a post about why Izzy's toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia doesn't give him a free pass to treat other people like shit and then not try to atone for that. A lot of the Izzy apologists I see seem to be of that opinion: that because we take into consideration Ed's past trauma when thinking how his actions have hurt the people we care about, we should give Izzy the same grace.
Well, I don't actually think we should, and I'm going to tell you why.
First, though, I want to say that this isn't about attacking people who enjoy characters who are pieces of shit. Please, by all means, enjoy your grubby little shitstain characters (I absolutely have some of my own that I love). This is about discussing why it's problematic to twist the canonical narrative to label Ed as abusive and Izzy as a victim.
And, in my opinion, it comes down to intentions.
"But dimplyowl," you say, "someone's intentions don't matter when the result is harmful to the people around them!" And I think, to a point, yes, that's true. People who hurt others through careless or reckless behavior need to bear the responsibility of their actions and own up to it (something that imo Izzy does not do). But I think there's also a distinction that needs to be made between people who hurt and control others because they take pleasure in feeling powerful over them, and those who don't.
If we take a look at Izzy's actions in season one and compare them to Ed's actions in season two, in my personal opinion, it becomes clear that one of these men is someone who has repeatedly taken pleasure in mistreating the people around him, both insubordinates and people that he claims to "have love for." And that man isn't the dread pyrate Blackbeard.
Does Ed enact violence on other people? Yes. Does he "love a good maim?" Also yes. Does he enjoy hurting people? Mm, debatable. The thing about Ed is that he has a complicated relationship with violence. To him, it's a tool to be utilized when necessary. I think he certainly gets a sense of vindictive pleasure when instructing Fang to skin the French captain or when the people at the French party descend into chaos and set themselves on fire. But, importantly, it's because those are people who wronged him. Those are people who hurt him, who dug at his race and his background and took pleasure in using those things to hurt him.
But Ed doesn't enjoy violence for violence's sake. There's always a reason, whether it's in reaction to being insulted, belittled, or threatened, or whether it's because it's literally just in the job description, he has a reason.
In season two, his reason for mistreating the crew is that he's trying to provoke them into mutinying on him. And, like, honestly, he does a pretty shitty job of it. Up until we rejoin them, his big crime is overworking them. The crew is tired emotionally and physically, but for the most part they're unharmed. They lost Ivan on a raid, but any one of them could die on a raid at any time, because it's literally just a hazard of the job. Not a single one of them is even considering mutiny at this point.
Ed hits his breaking point when Izzy suggests that they try and "talk it through," and imo completely understandably. It's his fault that the morale on the ship is low, is it? It's his fault because he was sad and heartbroken and vulnerable? It's his fault because he was healing in his own way, but that wasn't acceptable to Izzy at the time, but now because the ship isn't fun for Izzy anymore, because Izzy is on the verge of losing his position of power as Blackbeard's first mate, now is when Izzy decides that maybe talking it through might actually be helpful? Yeah, if I were Ed, I would fucking shoot him too.
But not once do we get any evidence that Ed is taking any pleasure in wearing down the crew. When he hits his breaking point, he is very clearly not having a good time. He realizes that if he wants this to end, he needs to up the ante. He hands Izzy a loaded gun and offers himself up as an easy target. Izzy laughs at his suicidal boss, friend, someone that he "has love for", and tells him to do it himself. He prolongs Ed's suffering. He puts the crew in even more danger. And even as Ed is trying to make the crew kill him, he doesn't touch them. By this point, we've seen this crew turn to mutiny twice, once because of Stede's ineptitude and once because of Izzy's abuse when he took over as captain. It shouldn't take much to get them to act, and yet it takes Ed threatening to get them all killed in a storm for them to finally act. Because up until that point, he's been unstable, he's been clearly going through a crisis, but he hasn't hurt them, he hasn't been abusive. He's clearly not enjoying any of this, he's going through some shit, he's hurting, and they love him, and until their lives are imminent danger, they're discussing how to help him.
If Ed wanted to hurt them, if he wanted to push them into mutiny sooner, there are so many things he could have done to terrorize them. Instead until the point he decides he can't live anymore, his only hope is that either he'll get killed in a raid, or he'll overwork them enough that they'll kill him themselves. This is not about abusing his crew, this is about abusing himself.
In contrast, when we look at Izzy's behavior throughout season one, we see someone who very clearly enjoys his position of power over other people, and who gets pleasure out of abusing that power. In 1x2, he sows distrust and uncertainty in Ivan and Fang about Ed's decision-making, telling them that he's half-mad, keeping Ed separate from the crew, and discouraging any questions by asserting himself physically over Fang. (He then claims in 1x4 to have reassured the crew when they've doubted Ed's leadership, when in fact he seems to be the cause of that doubt). In 1x3 he blatantly lies to Ed about having "explicitly" (his word) told Stede that "Blackbeard wants a word with him." He is practically gleeful when he passes on Stede's message to go suck eggs in hell, clearly expecting that to get a rise out of Ed, certainly to get him to drop his fascination with the Gentleman Pirate, and probably intending for Ed to attack Stede himself for disrespecting him.
In 1x4, he flip flops between caring that some of their crew died while fighting the Spanish to get Stede and his crew, and telling Ivan and Fang to kill anyone who refuses to fight the Spanish. Intending to fight the Spanish warships that have caught up with him is absolutely going to get everyone slaughtered, when there are other options. Ed actually advises anyone who can to leave, knowing that that's their only chance for survival, and similarly he tells the Revenge crew to surrender when cornered by the British. In 1x4, he clearly considers every death that would occur to be his responsibility when he tells Stede that being Blackbeard means that everyone's going to die, and it's going to be all his fault. Who's the one who actually cares about what happens to his crew here?
In 1x5 Izzy attempts to exert control over Lucius and punish him for, apparently, not working on his day off? Never mind that there are two other people in that room who are slacking off. Izzy targets Lucius, who is an effeminate unapologetically gay man, who Izzy clearly believes will be an easy target. He attempts to mock his sexuality (which actually winds up being more telling on himself), decides that it's his right to tell someone else's crew what to do at all, and attempts to use Lucius as an example to show the rest of Stede's crew that their "days of doing fuck-all are over", but then doesn't give jobs to the rest of the crew? He catches one of his own crew members fucking off with Lucius, and from what we can extrapolate, decides to only punish Lucius, because clearly Lucius as the "seductress" is to blame. He threatens to blackmail Lucius into obeying him, is visibly enjoying threatening him and manipulating him, and leaves like a pissy toddler when he doesn't get his way. And by "get his way", I mean successfully gains control over someone through threats and manipulation.
In 1x6, he once again decides that an effeminate gay man needs to be punished for his existence, but this time it's Stede he sets his sights on. He decides that he needs to take action only after hearing Ivan say that he's never seen Ed so open and available. Izzy can't have that, because he needs Ed to be dependent on Izzy, so that Izzy can continue to isolate Ed from the rest of the crew, can remain the only source of contact between Ed and the crew, and thereby easily control and manipulate both parties. He pressures Ed into finally acting on what he said he would do, belittling Stede and Ed's connection to Stede by referring to Stede as Ed's pet. (It is not an accidental choice that the writers will later have another antagonist refer to Stede as Ed's pet; it's deliberate mirroring to Izzy as an antagonist). He uses Stede's ego to manipulate him into insisting on putting on the fuckery so that they can get rid of Stede today--almost as if he knows that putting immediate pressure on Ed to act won't give him time to reconsider, to rethink, to back out, to maybe consider why Izzy is so adamant about this--and then uses Stede and Ed's relationship to further manipulate Stede into doubling down on doing the fuckery when he's doubting himself. And doing it in possibly the creepiest way possible?? Stede literally puts up a physical barrier between them, and Izzy pushes against that, actually literally pushes up against the curtain to push against the boundary that Stede has put up.
And then when it's clear Ed isn't going to kill Stede, Izzy decides that he's going to take that decision out of Ed's hands. He decides he knows better than Ed what's best for him, places more value in his own decisions than Ed's, essentially mutinies on Ed by disobeying him, and on Stede by challenging him to a duel. He clearly believes he's going to win, and easily, in the process forcing someone he again claims to "have love for" to watch as he destroys the only thing that's brought hope and life and light and enjoyment back into Ed's life. He's embarrassingly easily goaded into losing his temper, relishes the moment he thinks he's won, the moment he stabs Stede, loses his temper again when his sword is stuck. Canyonites love to talk about Ed having anger problems, but this episode clearly demonstrates who actually has the anger problem. He looks to Ed when he realizes he's lost, as if Ed is going to forgive him, let him stay, when he just tried to kill Ed's friend and (only in Izzy's mind at that point) lover.
Izzy then turns to the fucking cops to turn Stede in. He reinforces his belief that Ed isn't capable of making his own decisions when he refers to Stede as having "done something" to Ed's brain, as if Ed is a weak-willed, easily manipulated child. He sends Jack in because he knows that Jack will put a wedge between Ed and Stede, and hopefully to get Ed out of there before the navy shows up. He apparently doesn't consider the fact that Ed is the most wanted pirate in the world, and if Jack doesn't succeed, will be in life-threatening danger. But maybe he doesn't care about that, considering what he tells Ed later.
He arranges for Ed to be put into his custody. Like, I shouldn't have to say anything about that, because it's fucking disgusting. Like Ed is property to be handed over to Izzy. He tries to convince Ed that Stede's execution is actually a kindness, despite knowing what it will do to Ed. When that fails, he tries to convince Ed not to take the Act and sign the contract, but...isn't that what Izzy himself just did?
In 1x9 we get more of his control and manipulation over the crew. Taking away a week of Wee John's rations for making a comment about Izzy's terrible name for his ship, as he is actively eating in front of him. Making Ivan and Fang serve him, telling them his food needs more salt, and then not even eating more of it when they salt it? Fucking gross. That move is all about control.
And then 1x10, which I shouldn't even have to talk about, but the fucking horrible way he treats Ed apparently is still something that goes over some peoples' heads. Once again keeping him secluded from the crew, refusing to give them answers about what's going on, keeping them busy by literally spitting on their clean deck, when he could have just dumped the coffee out on it. Watching Ed grieve and bond with the crew, once again deciding for Ed that he knows what's best for him, interrupting his grieving process, telling him that what he's become is worse than death. Threatening him that if he doesn't return to the very specific image that Izzy says Blackbeard is, that Izzy will kill him. Later on his deathbed apology admitting that he knew that being Blackbeard was harmful to Ed, but that he kept pressing because Izzy needed him, needed Blackbeard in order to feel powerful, to keep the level of respect and fear that other people had for him.
All of this paints a picture of a person who enjoys feeling powerful, who enjoys using that power to hurt and abuse and control the people around him, who will do anything, even at the detriment of someone that he has "love for", to keep that power for himself. A person who takes pleasure in hurting people, physically and emotionally.
I see a lot of people trying to say that what Ed did was worse than what Izzy did. I personally don't think it was, when you add up the consistent way that Izzy mistreats every person around him. But I think that what's even more important in this discussion are the intentions behind the hurt.
Ed did everything he could not to harm his crew until it became evident that the only way he could be successful in getting them to kill him would be by giving them a very present, very real threat. And even then, the way he went about doing it was very distant. Making Jim and Archie fight each other. Sailing directly into a storm. Damaging the ship to make an already dangerous situation even more dangerous.
Izzy repeatedly enjoyed exerting his control and physical and emotional violence on other people. He displayed a pattern of believing himself to be the only person capable of making the right choices, of removing the agency from the people around him, specifically of removing Ed, a person of color's, agency. He hurt every single person around him, all for his own benefit, for his own gain.
Maybe it comes down to value systems, maybe intentions behind someone's behavior really don't matter to you, but I know that I am much more forgiving of someone who hurt me as a byproduct of hurting themselves than I am someone who knowingly, repeatedly hurts people because they enjoy it.
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scribedhorror · 2 years ago
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this is a shipping call lmk if you'd like to ship with bill and if you're a multi then lmk who
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